Exhaling to the atmosphere

OK my first blog.  I have been threatening myself  for a while now saying I was going to start one.  Convincing myself that I have something to say, just like everyone else.  And if no one reads it, that is fine too.  It is just out there in the atmosphere, like exhaling.

So being a middle-aged Mom that just moved once again, it’s a significant challenge  to meet and keep new girlfriends.  I don’t know what it is, but there is an inherent need to have girlfriends.  Someone who knows what it’s like to deal with a husband, childbirth, periods, and being a mom.

I got lucky.  I met someone at Blake’s soccer game, who had the same age kids as me, had just moved to our town like us, and was fun to be around. And so the cultivation of the friendship began.  Starting with play dates for the kids, then progressing to going out and doing things together like going out for drinks, movies, shopping at Target.  Then she organized a night out with “the girls” with her other new friend and I.  We went to a Chinese restaurant and they had karaoke.  We had a good time and all got along great.  I was psyched because I was hoping I could now add another girlfriend to my arsenal.

But I must confess that there is a certain dynamic among women when there are 3 together.  I have experienced this in many different forms since I was in grade school.  There is an underlying struggle going on.  Questions start racing through your mind; “does she like her more than me?”, “I don’t get that joke between them, what is that?”, “why do I have to sit in the backseat?”.  Now it might seem silly or paranoid, but it is real.  Women compete with each other not even realizing they are doing it.

Back to the story.  I ask my girlfriend to go see a girl movie with me.  She says sure.  As I am relaying my excitement for getting out of the house to go see this girl movie, it is revealed, several days after the fact that she already saw the movie with the “other” friend.  She tries to quickly diffuse the situation by saying “you were in Boston or something that night and I just had to go see it.”   Silence on my end. The same thing happened on Mother’s Day.   I am hurt, upset, angry, frustrated, and now trying to decide how to deal with those emotions. Do I forget it?  Do I bring it up? Do I act standoffiish for a while?  Life is hard enough and I just want my girlfriend relationships to be as un-drama filled as possible.